Mmmmm.

Just ate blackberries and tahini. So wrong, yet so right.



Today:
Breakfast - Juice of 20 honey tangerines
Lunch - Juice of 20 honey tangerines
Later - blackberries and tahini and a few asparagus stalks

I feel great. On top of the world.

Missing link.

Today I went running for the first time in a couple of months. Wow, I feel like a new person! Exercise can be a kind of meditation. For many years I ran daily, but decided to take a break just to see what would happen if I didn't take out my emotions and thoughts through exercise, where they would go, what things would develop. It was a good experiment. I learned new things about myself and about life.

Lately, even my most favorite fruits do not seem appealing. Honeydew? Yuck. Grapefruits? Sour. Bananas? Gag. I even bought some exotic fruits the other day, durian and longans, and they seemed blah. Not really sure what to eat then or if to eat at all. Maybe I need to exercise more? But if I don't feel like it I'm not going to make myself. I had some avocados today for the first time in a while, just for something dense. Usually these days I am just having tangerine juice, and sometimes papaya or pineapple.

Today:
Breakfast - Juice of 15 honey tangerines
Lunch - a very large papaya
Snack - 2 avocados

Kind of feel like Woody from Toy Story:



Life can be very strange sometimes. But I do like surprises every now and then. ♥

I love my blog.

It helps me. Even if no one reads it. Whatever I write about, magically happens - oftentimes the very next day.

Lately I have been going through some deeply moving changes in myself. Today was very real. I appreciate that. I am asking the strength and grace to face my challenges, learn from them, overcome and go higher.

I am doing well on juicy fruits in monomeals. I found this list from another website interesting - it's the reasons why people eat:
-The choice of food that tastes good.
-The choice of whatever food that fills the stomach so that one can not eat more.
-It's mealtime and whatever food is available is ok.
-The choice to eat any food that is within reach, food that "happens to be there so why not eat it".
-The choice of cheaper food alternatives.
-Everyone else is eating that particular type of food.
-Someone else prepared this food so it's convenient to eat it.
-Someone offered the food so it's inpolite not to eat it.
-Not giving it much thought whatsoever, simply eating "just because".

The last one, "just because", seems to be the most common. Strange when you think of it that way. Why do we eat at all? Before eating, think what is the reason? Is it out of boredom, distraction, entertainment, social reasons, convenience, restlessness, habit, "just because"? What would life be like if we didn't need to eat? What things would change? What possibilities are there? I like to challenge common thought-forms and have been exploring these ideas. It has lead to some very interesting new perspectives for me, on the verge of a paradigm shift. From now on if I eat at all, it will only be those fruits that resonate with my energy. Honey tangerines are good right now.

Today:
Breakfast - celery juice and 1 large papaya
Lunch - juice of 18 honey tangerines
Dinner - juice of 18 honey tangerines

This. I can't stop listening.


♥ ♥ ♥

Past. Present. Future.

"Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant day into your answers." -Rainer Maria Rilke

Hello. I had such an experience last night. I finished writing in one diary and usually I just close them up and put them away somewhere and start a new one. Last night however I was feeling curious, it has been quite a monumental past year you see and so I read all back through this journal, and the one before, and the one before. And it was amazing to see what I wrote about what I was going through and how I felt and what I was thinking, and how it all has delivered me perfectly into the present moment. It was a good reinforcement to trust that what is happening is always towards my greater good.

Dear Diary,
I love you.

It has been a while since writing here, but I want to start blogging again. Just to talk about my life and thoughts, and what I am eating mostly and how I am feeling about it. See here I have no fruitarians or raw foodists arounds to share with, in fact I don't even know another vegan. Which is okay, and is all the more reason for me to set a good and strong example.

So this is a way for me to think outloud as I continue my progress as a fruitarian and to inspire myself. I can also talk about my reasons for being fruitarian, and record my observations, as well as the many good things things I am attracting, and perhaps other blogs I enjoy.

What I would like to be doing now is all monomeals of juicy fruit, keeping it light, listening to hunger or lack thereof, and finishing my last meal early in the day. I do have a habit of eating late at night, because I have been doing it all my life as a way to relax after the day is finished. But I can find another way to relax, such as meditating, reading, and writing, or talking on the phone, instead of eating dinner late at night.

The past few days I have been eating a lot. In fact, I want to write it here because I myself cannot quite believe it. Today and yesterday too I ate well over 2,000 calories. I always hear about 811ers who are eating 3-4,000 calories a day, and wonder how and where these people put it. My day usually averages about 1,500-1,800 calories at the most. But lately have been out of the usual. What I would usually last me a whole week, I ate in 3 days. Well there is a whole store full of delicious fruit so that is not a problem. I am trying to listen for now, and I wonder if this will continue.

Today:

Breakfast - Cucumber juice and 1 honeydew melon.
Lunch - 2 large (large) papayas. Not at the same time.
Dinner - Juice of 8 pink grapefruits.
Snack - 10 tangerines.
Late-night snack - Celery and tomato juice, 1 bunch of asparagus, and grape tomatoes.



See? I wasn't kidding. That is some healthy eating right there.

And yesterday? Well:

Breakfast - Celery juice and 15 tangerines, juiced.
Lunch - 1 cantaloupe melon.
Later - 2 small papayas and 3 red bananas.
Snack - 1 large papaya, 1 thai coconut water and meat.
Dinner - 1 small, but generous and very perfect, angelic durian.


I think that is good. It is very healthy, mostly juicy fruit and almost all monomeals.

There. That felt good. I think I will blog more often. ♥

And the next day...

She woke up. And she was okay.

No. She was better than okay. In fact, she had never been better. She had never felt happier, had never been stronger, had never shined more brightly.

She knew she had overcome everything with her mind. Finally, finally she was free. From then on, she never doubted, never feared, only trusted and loved. She believed every miracle. She was living proof.

♥ The End &hearts'

I just want to be okay.

So why do I keep hurting myself so bad?

Love me.
Heal me.
Give me light.

Please.

♥